An opportunity to work with legendary coach Bob Kersee arose, and during a practice session, Sydney broke down in tears. Instead of offering comfort, Bob gave her an emotion wheel to help her identify her feelings. Initially embarrassed, Sydney later realized the importance of acknowledging her emotions. This moment became a turning point, leading her to commit to Bob as her coach. Their partnership shaped her success, including winning four Olympic medals in the 2024 Paris Olympic Games. This experience helped Sydney grow both as an athlete and as a person, demonstrating that uncomfortable moments can lead to profound breakthroughs. Sydney’s experience is not exclusive to athletes; it is something we have all encountered at some point in our lives.
There are many articles and thought pieces discussing how to be comfortable dealing with uncomfortable situations. A Google search will return a voluminous list of “Becoming Comfortable Being Uncomfortable” options. You can enhance the number of options by adding specific keywords relevant to your area of concern. The abundance of articles highlights the thirst for knowledge and guidance surrounding this subject. Arguably, uncomfortable situations are an inevitable part of life, both personally and professionally. Uncomfortable situations present themselves in several ways, as potentially confrontational situations such as dealing with difficult employees, starting a new job, public speaking, dealing with high stress situations such as a career change, and several other experiences that shifts you outside your comfort zone. Oftentimes, avoidance as a coping strategy becomes the default. However, it is important to recognize that discomfort is not inherently negative. It is often an indication that we are pushing past our comfort zone where growth awaits. With avoidance, there is a risk of delayed progress toward goals, stifling of ambitions, missed opportunities, and potentially obstruction to growth. The challenge for us is to recognize and use these situations to spur positive outcomes. In moments of discomfort, we find opportunities for growth, resilience, and transformation. As illustrated in the story above, Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone was confronted by personal and professional setbacks, including the challenge of a new role working with a new coach. Through emotional identification and renewed commitment to her profession, Sydney affected great outcomes including Olympic wins.
The Personal Toolkit
Embracing discomfort offers several valuable opportunities. Through these experiences, we learn to identify our responses, cultivate adaptability, gain confidence, and develop resilience. To begin, it is essential to shift your mindset and recognize the benefits of facing discomfort. By identifying your emotional and physical reactions, you can better understand how you respond to challenging situations. Analyzing and reflecting on these responses allows for deeper insight and personal growth. Building a support structure provides the necessary encouragement and resources to navigate discomfort effectively. Finally, creating an action plan helps you approach discomfort with a clear strategy, ensuring you can manage and overcome it successfully.
Action Plan to Address and/or Correct the Discomfort
When you find yourself in a potentially uncomfortable situation, it is important to pay close attention to your physical sensations and emotions. Ask yourself questions like: How does my body feel physically? What emotions am I experiencing? What thoughts are running through my mind? For me, it boiled down to FEAR, which I identify as both a word and an acronym: False Expectations Appearing Real. I discovered that the thing I feared was a distraction, and I was acting upon it without ever identifying a true threat. It was an imagined threat that I had escalated and made real in my mind by focusing on "what could happen" scenarios. To overcome this habit, I had to develop a process that actively prioritized identifying my fears when approaching a difficult conversation or situation and then validating whether it was real or imagined. Validation is key; it eliminates fear.
Key steps to identifying uncomfortable situations include observing your physical sensations, such as tightness in your chest, stomach upset, muscle tension, increased heart rate, feeling flushed or sweaty, and dry mouth. Recognize your emotional responses, which might include anxiety, embarrassment, discomfort, guilt, shame, frustration, and irritation. Analyze your thoughts, noting any negative self-talk, feelings of being judged or criticized, worrying about what others think, or feeling trapped or unable to escape. Reflect on your behavior, such as avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, changing the subject, or wanting to leave the situation.
Strategies for identifying uncomfortable situations include journaling, where you write down situations that made you feel uncomfortable and how you reacted physically and emotionally. Mindfulness practice involves paying close attention to your thoughts and feelings in the moment. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can also help, as discussing situations that make you uncomfortable and getting feedback on your interpretations can provide valuable insights.
Scenarios: Putting Our Toolkits to Work
Now that we understand our triggers, we have identified alternative approaches and created our personalized Toolkit, let us practice what we have learned utilizing real-world scenarios that demonstrate the concept of how to be comfortable when you are presented with uncomfortable circumstances that must be addressed. The hope is that readers can see themselves in the scenarios and form takeaways to improve their approach when necessary.
The following articles offer step by step approaches to prepare for difficult conversations, including scenarios that can be practiced utilizing role-playing techniques. Preparation is an asset in your toolkit, as it boosts confidence and trains you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
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